Even Pharaohs Had To Go For A Shit

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
wolfie170
pengychan

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks.
"It's free if you're gay," he's told.
"Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?"
"Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

pengychan

"Doctor, give it to me straight"
"You sure, there's a fee"
"… Give it to me gay"

arsonforcharlie

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

battlships

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

saintsideways

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

wolfie170
nathanielthecurious

one of my professors, a historian who has been interviewed as an expert in various documentaries, said that the secret to documentaries is saying something very obvious, as slowly as possible. for example, if you say “the romans…….. enjoyed their dinner parties” or "being a gladiator... was... very... dangerous" then the filmmakers can get that clip and immediately pan over some cool pictures of mosaics or something. this has forever changed the way i view documentaries

nathanielthecurious

getting lots of notes just by quoting something that a funny person i know IRL said feels like stealing. however i guess sometimes funny people dont know how funny they are and i have to be the one to bring their good quotes to a wider audience

p4nsy
silvasaliva

having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i’m buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that’s for sure

mtndewloyalist-x

That’s literally why the government wants to stop it

queeranarchism

Defend cash. The existence of a cash economy  is so so necessary for the survival of every population that the government wants to kill. Homeless people, sex workers, undocumented people, addicts. They all need cash to survive.

notaboyscout
socialjusticeinamerica

image
theconcealedweapon

Ruby Bridges is 68. This is not ancient history. Not even close.

neil-gaiman

I know Ruby. She's a really nice person. The idea that they would try and write what she did as a girl out of history is shocking to me on so many levels, the simplest of which is just, but don't they know how lovely she is?

vbartilucci

68 is not that old. She’s only been getting social security for three years.

image

Here she is.

I wonder how loudly Conservatives would scream if she were interviewed today.

st-just
st-just

“By the necessity, commonly understood, to avoid triggering a nuclear holocaust, the deus ex machina would have accomplished then what men and nations have been unable to by negotiation or by conquest: the abolition of major war. Total security would be indistinguishable from total insecurity. A menacing standoff would be maintained suspiciously, precariously, at the brink of annihilation. Before the bomb, international relations had swung between war and peace. After the bomb, major war among nuclear powers would be self-defeating. No one would win. World war thus revealed itself to be historical, not universal, a manifestation of destructive technologies of a limited scale. Its time would soon be past. The pendulum now would swing wider, between peace and national suicide, between peace and total death.”

— Richard Rhodes, The Making of the Atomic Bomb (via st-just)